


On the Couch

by romanticalgirl



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-31
Updated: 2014-01-31
Packaged: 2018-01-10 15:38:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1161536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanticalgirl/pseuds/romanticalgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Originally posted 8/28/99</p>
    </blockquote>





	On the Couch

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted 8/28/99

"When I'm feeling bad about myself and want to feel even worse, I remember the look on her face the night after Buffy's birthday party. The night she found out about me and Cordelia.

I hadn't done it deliberately, the kissing and the not telling. I've never deliberately hurt Willow. I did it to save face, to deny the fact that I was - for lack of a better phrase - sleeping with the enemy. But none of that had mattered to Willow. All that had mattered was the fact that I was, once again, kissing someone who wasn't her. 

I don't try to pretend to justify it now. I never justify things with Willow; she's too good at seeing through my self-deception. But it's funny because now, kissing Willow is what I'm trying to justify. 

Don't get me wrong, it's all over. I've stepped aside so that she can be with Oz and be the happy Willow she needs to be. I don't even comment anymore at the lack of chemistry between them. Never once have I seen either of them possessed with the need to touch each other. To kiss each other. To

And, please, don't say that this just sounds like a description of lust. Please, don't tell me that relationships aren't just built on hormones or lust or whatever it is you feel the need to write my relationship - my feelings for Will off as. Because I know what you're going to say. The best relationships build over time. They're based on trust, respect, love and most of all, friendship. 

Everyone says that the most long-lasting and meaningful relationships are based on friendship. 

Am I the only one who sees the irony? 

Don't get me wrong here, I like Oz. He's a nice guy, and he is good for Willow. He treats her right and cares about her. And she could probably stay with him for the rest of her life and be content. 

Who wants content? 

I want passion and anger, love and lust, sadness and joy. I want the middle ground that Oz and Willow have, I really do. I just want the extremes as well. 

Cordelia was all extremes. Oz is all middle ground. Will and I

Will and I are perfect. 

Soulmates. 

Meant to be. 

And decidedly not being. Because she's doing the right thing. And maybe it's the right thing for her too. But I promise you this, Willow's gonna come around again. And this time, I'll be there. 

Unless Buffy asksjust kidding." 

***

I look up from the clipboard and nod. "Feel better?" 

"Yeah." He gets up from the couch and shakes my hand. "Thanks." 

I nod again. "Of course, Mr. Harris. Please come back any time." 

"Does my insurance cover this?" 

"Are you with Slayers Mutual?" 

Xander nods and loses it, breaking into laughter. I can't help but do the same, sinking back onto my chair. When he finally gets himself together, he takes the clipboard from my hands. "Switch." 

I lie down on the couch, thinking this is the best idea I've had in a long time. "Well, as you can probably guess, Doctor, this is about Angel." 

* * *


End file.
